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motherofchucky's avatar

This is such an interesting topic and one which I have reflected on my whole life in Australia. I’m also from a Muslim culture, and my father basically gave away most of his money to the extended family because of what I now understand to be survivor guilt. We grew up with a VERY basic upbringing, which he thought was adequate (and probably was) but made me believe we were poor. When I recently worked out the dollar equivalent of his salary now, I realised he had earned a very high amount- as a geologist during a mining boom…duh!!! I was completely shocked. The positive side of this is that it gave me a strong sense of class consciousness and a sensitivity to the nuance of privilege. Wealthy people still make me uncomfortable. The downside is that it made me resentful of him and gave me a lifelong anxiety about money. Not a great gift to your kids. I’m now in the position of earning a pretty good income (through a mixture of university degrees, hard work and fear) and my teenage son (who has inherited my class consciousness) often asks if we’re rich now. I say that no, we’re comfortable. For the first time in my life at 54 I feel somewhat free of a burden (although mindful that things can come crashing down at any time because I was born in the global south 😂) - of both the fear of not having money, and the need to pass as someone who has. I feel free to say what I think and dress how I want to dress- to signal that I’m not bourgeois! I tell my son I’m like the aunt who has won lotto- and happy to share the joy around. But I’m always mindful of making sure my son feels secure before everything else because that freedom from fear is a gift that everyone deserves.

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Janet Robertson she/her's avatar

Apologies for the spelling errors. I write like I talk - fast.

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