As someone who was fat shamed when I was going through what I now understand was the standard pre- puberty weight gain in late primary school, I have always been preoccupied by my weight. In my teens and 20s I was thin, hardly ate and wanted to be skinny at any cost. Unsurprisingly I was deeply unhappy- depressed, anxious and lonely. Three decades on I’m three sizes larger and really don’t give a shit. I’m so much happier and healthier. I still love expressing myself with clothes but I have found my own style which reflects my culture, my interests and yes, my hard earned wisdom. What I always say to younger women is that it is hard not to be affected by social and political constructs but do keep trying! I wasted so much time denying and berating myself that I failed to notice the beauty and glow of being young and healthy. My PhD thesis languished as I worked out at the gym and tried to be all things to all people. You owe it to yourself to love whatever you is, because it’s you! Sorry to sound like Oprah, but I guess I’m trying to say that even the smartest, most politically and intellectually inclined fall prey to the distracting and dangerous narrative that thin is better, aesthetically and morally.
And I’m sick of it. Eat the bread, cheese, dessert, live and love your life! And why is it that we love chubby babies, cats and other animals but draw the line for humans over five? 🙏
Isn't it so arbitrary where we draw the line ? But of course, it is not. I am so glad you are in your happier and healthier energy, I truly am. We only have this one life, and it often feels to me - as you point out - even the smartest of us fall prey to this social pressure... !!!
Much like motherofchucky I was fat shamed as a pre-teen by my parents and their friends. Despite the fact that I was incredibly active at the time (dancing, cycling and the like). This led to a period of disordered eating as a mid-teen, and my default when I am very upset is to starve my feelings.
These days, as a fat, white woman, I do still face discrimination from people, medicine and societal structures. I've had abuse hurled at me from cars, had people suddenly be interested in me when I'd lost weight (due to misery) because I'd reached some kind of threshold of attraction that they had arbitrarily assigned (gross), and had people comment on my weight unasked.
From a medical standpoint, I have been told to lose weight by doctors and specialists for things unrelated to the reasons I've seen them (eg having a cold), and for doctors to suggest that losing weight would help with various conditions (and it might) but not suggest any way that weight loss could be sustainable. As someone with PCOS, the Australian guidelines for weight management actually state that you should drop your daily kilojoule consumption to 30% less than the actual recommended minimum. So starvation and feeling hungry ahoy! All in order to assist in managing fertility - instead of actually looking at potential root causes - and/or to look at whether fertility is someone's main aim.
Structurally, the world is not built for fat people. Airline seats are a classic example, but also most individual seating, clothing availability, gurneys, etc. The world could be easily accommodating of people of all sizes, but because fat is a moral failing, it's easier to punish fat people than acknowledge that fat people have a right to exist without discrimination.
I am so sorry about all the sh*t that you and @motherofchucky and so many more have faced bc of the bs fatphobia in our world. The fact that doctors focus on weight instead of I duno, the actual matter at hand!!! continue to boggle my mind. And you're 100% right - it is a structural issue, and should be treated as one. We are making the choice as a society to punish fat people, and we are the ones who should be ashamed.
As someone who was fat shamed when I was going through what I now understand was the standard pre- puberty weight gain in late primary school, I have always been preoccupied by my weight. In my teens and 20s I was thin, hardly ate and wanted to be skinny at any cost. Unsurprisingly I was deeply unhappy- depressed, anxious and lonely. Three decades on I’m three sizes larger and really don’t give a shit. I’m so much happier and healthier. I still love expressing myself with clothes but I have found my own style which reflects my culture, my interests and yes, my hard earned wisdom. What I always say to younger women is that it is hard not to be affected by social and political constructs but do keep trying! I wasted so much time denying and berating myself that I failed to notice the beauty and glow of being young and healthy. My PhD thesis languished as I worked out at the gym and tried to be all things to all people. You owe it to yourself to love whatever you is, because it’s you! Sorry to sound like Oprah, but I guess I’m trying to say that even the smartest, most politically and intellectually inclined fall prey to the distracting and dangerous narrative that thin is better, aesthetically and morally.
And I’m sick of it. Eat the bread, cheese, dessert, live and love your life! And why is it that we love chubby babies, cats and other animals but draw the line for humans over five? 🙏
Isn't it so arbitrary where we draw the line ? But of course, it is not. I am so glad you are in your happier and healthier energy, I truly am. We only have this one life, and it often feels to me - as you point out - even the smartest of us fall prey to this social pressure... !!!
Much like motherofchucky I was fat shamed as a pre-teen by my parents and their friends. Despite the fact that I was incredibly active at the time (dancing, cycling and the like). This led to a period of disordered eating as a mid-teen, and my default when I am very upset is to starve my feelings.
These days, as a fat, white woman, I do still face discrimination from people, medicine and societal structures. I've had abuse hurled at me from cars, had people suddenly be interested in me when I'd lost weight (due to misery) because I'd reached some kind of threshold of attraction that they had arbitrarily assigned (gross), and had people comment on my weight unasked.
From a medical standpoint, I have been told to lose weight by doctors and specialists for things unrelated to the reasons I've seen them (eg having a cold), and for doctors to suggest that losing weight would help with various conditions (and it might) but not suggest any way that weight loss could be sustainable. As someone with PCOS, the Australian guidelines for weight management actually state that you should drop your daily kilojoule consumption to 30% less than the actual recommended minimum. So starvation and feeling hungry ahoy! All in order to assist in managing fertility - instead of actually looking at potential root causes - and/or to look at whether fertility is someone's main aim.
Structurally, the world is not built for fat people. Airline seats are a classic example, but also most individual seating, clothing availability, gurneys, etc. The world could be easily accommodating of people of all sizes, but because fat is a moral failing, it's easier to punish fat people than acknowledge that fat people have a right to exist without discrimination.
I am so sorry about all the sh*t that you and @motherofchucky and so many more have faced bc of the bs fatphobia in our world. The fact that doctors focus on weight instead of I duno, the actual matter at hand!!! continue to boggle my mind. And you're 100% right - it is a structural issue, and should be treated as one. We are making the choice as a society to punish fat people, and we are the ones who should be ashamed.