Such good and painful questions. Currently I am thinking about how we can love someone or something, but it may not ultimately be good for us. Do we hold on and keep trying, or let go? Is it better to yearn with or without that person or thing in our life?
Oh, this is such a question! Thank you for asking... I suppose I guess it depends what we define as 'good' - if we actually fully know that we are better off without that thing / person in our life, perhaps the feeling is actually grief...?
Yes I think so, but if we don't yet know or feel it to be true that we are better off without them/it, perhaps we are yearning for it to ultimately NOT be true. Like a yearning, grieving see-saw.
Ah, that grey area. Gosh, so much lives in the grey... I hope clarification comes for you soon, if that's what you seek, inshallah! All I know is I find this period, the 'not knowing yet', incredibly difficult - bc I don't yet trust my own sense...if that makes sense!
Having loved ones spread across the globe, country (or even the state when it comes to Australia!) means always longing for the company of a friend whose laugh we want to hear, but where there are only texts or emails. It means always feeling homesick, or at least nostalgic, no matter where you are in the world. When it comes to missing a partner, I see that as strength in your bond, rather than any weakness of character. After years, I miss my partner when he's gone for a day. Truth be told, I've text him I miss him from the lounge room. Lame! I know. But better than the apathetic alternative!
haha I love that, though. I think part of me never imagined I would feel that feeling (wrt to a romantic partner), it felt like something *other* people had, and then it sorta crept up on me... as for loved ones across the globe, subhanallah - you are right. I don't think I know what it is to not live with longing, not really...
FAIRUZ by Karpe 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 thank you Yassmin for sharing this. Oh my. I just watched song after song and dragged myself back here to say thank you. Oh my. 💜 💔 and Dermot Kennedy. God bless the Colors x Studio. Reading the lyrics in the context you mentioned broke my heart.
My heart is very breakable at the moment anyway.
Which leads me to your good thoughts on yearning. The book you mentioned probably touches on this but "nostalgia" was once considered a mental illness - particularly in women. They were probably just longing not to be in a structured restrictive society in the 1800's 🤷🏼 but the idea of yearning being healthy or unhealthy is interesting. I know i have yearned in the past for the space that most adopted people feel to be filled. The lack of a past, lack of ancestors - it's not the same as a yearning for a homeland that may not be the one you imagined. Its something i had to work through & let go of, to be content within a family that doesn't resemble me, one which has biological children that really resemble our parents. It's much much harder for adopted folk of colour wth white parents.
But the yearning that produces art such as Karpe's concerts - when it reflects the longing but places it context of the "life we live now"- that's so profound and moving.!
I discovered a Portuguese word this year that is really not fully translatable in english: "Saudade". A longing, a yearning for something lost that perhaps was never really present but was felt in the heart...there's better definitions. It feels like there's a lot of Saudade in the yearning you write of. Poetic. Truthful. But not necessarily the whole story.
As I was writing - I was thinking about the immediacy of social media - how maybe it's taken away that sense of longing/yearning? When you can facetime?
I think it's good to miss a partner - the loss of the physically tangible space they fill, when so much is digital.
Ok. Enough words. thank you for taking me down a thoughtful path - and for the great artists! Lots to think about. Blessings & Peace be with you 🙏 💜
OH I love your long comments, Janet - and enjoy coming back to them in the fullness of time, I hope you don't mind. I am so glad you loved Fairuz. It's honestly one of the best videos - concerts - audiovisual experiences I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. Transformative !
I had heard of the word Saudade before, but forgotten it... so thank you for the reminder. I also appreciated your questioning on whether the immediacy of social media has changed our attitude towards yearning... like, if it is possible to stay in contact (by simply calling or facetiming) does that mean if you're *not* doing that you are somehow at fault? I wonder if it changes the yearning into guilt? Somehow, I feel like it might...
Thanks for all your sharing about your own yearning also, Janet. I appreciate your openness deeply <3
Such good and painful questions. Currently I am thinking about how we can love someone or something, but it may not ultimately be good for us. Do we hold on and keep trying, or let go? Is it better to yearn with or without that person or thing in our life?
Oh, this is such a question! Thank you for asking... I suppose I guess it depends what we define as 'good' - if we actually fully know that we are better off without that thing / person in our life, perhaps the feeling is actually grief...?
Yes I think so, but if we don't yet know or feel it to be true that we are better off without them/it, perhaps we are yearning for it to ultimately NOT be true. Like a yearning, grieving see-saw.
Ah, that grey area. Gosh, so much lives in the grey... I hope clarification comes for you soon, if that's what you seek, inshallah! All I know is I find this period, the 'not knowing yet', incredibly difficult - bc I don't yet trust my own sense...if that makes sense!
Oh yes I understand.
Having loved ones spread across the globe, country (or even the state when it comes to Australia!) means always longing for the company of a friend whose laugh we want to hear, but where there are only texts or emails. It means always feeling homesick, or at least nostalgic, no matter where you are in the world. When it comes to missing a partner, I see that as strength in your bond, rather than any weakness of character. After years, I miss my partner when he's gone for a day. Truth be told, I've text him I miss him from the lounge room. Lame! I know. But better than the apathetic alternative!
haha I love that, though. I think part of me never imagined I would feel that feeling (wrt to a romantic partner), it felt like something *other* people had, and then it sorta crept up on me... as for loved ones across the globe, subhanallah - you are right. I don't think I know what it is to not live with longing, not really...
Sorry - I mistook Omar Sherrif as the artist. Just going to watch the rest of the concert!
FAIRUZ by Karpe 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 thank you Yassmin for sharing this. Oh my. I just watched song after song and dragged myself back here to say thank you. Oh my. 💜 💔 and Dermot Kennedy. God bless the Colors x Studio. Reading the lyrics in the context you mentioned broke my heart.
My heart is very breakable at the moment anyway.
Which leads me to your good thoughts on yearning. The book you mentioned probably touches on this but "nostalgia" was once considered a mental illness - particularly in women. They were probably just longing not to be in a structured restrictive society in the 1800's 🤷🏼 but the idea of yearning being healthy or unhealthy is interesting. I know i have yearned in the past for the space that most adopted people feel to be filled. The lack of a past, lack of ancestors - it's not the same as a yearning for a homeland that may not be the one you imagined. Its something i had to work through & let go of, to be content within a family that doesn't resemble me, one which has biological children that really resemble our parents. It's much much harder for adopted folk of colour wth white parents.
But the yearning that produces art such as Karpe's concerts - when it reflects the longing but places it context of the "life we live now"- that's so profound and moving.!
I discovered a Portuguese word this year that is really not fully translatable in english: "Saudade". A longing, a yearning for something lost that perhaps was never really present but was felt in the heart...there's better definitions. It feels like there's a lot of Saudade in the yearning you write of. Poetic. Truthful. But not necessarily the whole story.
As I was writing - I was thinking about the immediacy of social media - how maybe it's taken away that sense of longing/yearning? When you can facetime?
I think it's good to miss a partner - the loss of the physically tangible space they fill, when so much is digital.
Ok. Enough words. thank you for taking me down a thoughtful path - and for the great artists! Lots to think about. Blessings & Peace be with you 🙏 💜
OH I love your long comments, Janet - and enjoy coming back to them in the fullness of time, I hope you don't mind. I am so glad you loved Fairuz. It's honestly one of the best videos - concerts - audiovisual experiences I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. Transformative !
I had heard of the word Saudade before, but forgotten it... so thank you for the reminder. I also appreciated your questioning on whether the immediacy of social media has changed our attitude towards yearning... like, if it is possible to stay in contact (by simply calling or facetiming) does that mean if you're *not* doing that you are somehow at fault? I wonder if it changes the yearning into guilt? Somehow, I feel like it might...
Thanks for all your sharing about your own yearning also, Janet. I appreciate your openness deeply <3